I know things haven’t always been great between us, but I think it’s time we make amends. I forgive you, November, and I can finally admit that I was wrong too.
I’m sorry I bad-mouthed you for so many years, calling you the most depressing month of them all. That wasn’t cool. And it wasn’t you, it was me.
I was the girl resigned to feel nameless on the frozen streets of Chicago, believing she belonged to someone else. The girl who cooked pots of food and then made herself too sick to eat, until the bones were outlined on her chest. That was all me, and I shouldn’t have dumped it on you.
It was me who dwelled, who stagnated, who saw loneliness in the cracks of love. I was the one who focused on the pain in my family, instead of the healing. There was a lot I didn’t understand yet, about family, and I’m still learning, but I no longer blame you for the way those lessons sting sometimes.
But you have to own part of this too. You did bring the death of two of my grandparents. That can’t be unwritten. And my heart was broken in you, November. These things are not easy to get over.
And then there’s the cold of you. And the early nightfall and the empty branches. It’s a lot to deal with, ok? Work with me here.
But, I know, you brought the birthday of a grandparent too. And many other births and anniversaries and occasions to commemorate. And you brought me love once too. I won’t ever forget that.
So, I think it’s time, after all, to squash the beef. I’m ready to let go of past injury and move on together. We both deserve another chance. And I’m ready to celebrate the best in you, November. Your gumbo, your football, your pumpkin pie. And running through it all, your message of gratitude.
That’s what you’ve been trying to teach me all this time, isn’t it? I get that now, but we’ve had some dark times together, and it was hard for me to hear you.
So let’s meet each other halfway, November. Let’s wipe the calendar of memory clean and write a new story for ourselves. One we can both agree on.
nothin’ lasts forever, even cold November rain…