Spent Christmas in Playa del Carmen, and it made me mourn my wanderlust.
It all started with our waiter at Christmas dinner. He told us he was from Mission Viejo, California, but he’d come to Playa a year ago, fell in love with it, and never left. I felt a pang. He is living my vacation.
Then on the beach a day or two later, I overheard a young woman telling someone that she was from the United States but currently living in Argentina. Another pang. What is she doing in Argentina? Hot Argentinian lover? In how many ways is her life cooler than mine?
Ironic and perhaps self-indulgent, I’ll admit, to have these pangs while spending a week at an ocean-front resort on the Caribbean Sea. I get that. But we all have these things that tug us, that remind us of the people we once were and the people we thought we would be.
Not that I actually want to move to Playa del Carmen or Argentina. It isn’t that specific. But there was a time in my life when I traveled easily and often. And I thought that time had just begun. I was sure I would fill passports and have several exotic addresses.
But as it goes, one choice after the next, and things shifted. We all mourn for the other side sometimes.
In the shift, I chose to make a family with someone, and simply put, it didn’t turn out as I had hoped. But I am tethered to it nonetheless, simultaneously bound and free. I have many of the obligations of a family, without the actual family as I thought it would be. It is a new edge to walk, and I’m still finding the borders, though the steps are the same as they often are. Let go of what never was and create something new, wherever that may take you.
Typical holiday/new year stuff.
–Insert your favorite inspirational meme here–